Scan results are in!

Hello friends of Cancercopia!!

Today was the dreaded scan result day, my usual 3 month check-in on the current chemo in a month that has been anything but usual.

We were cautiously optimistic this time, but optimistic nonetheless because of the significant decrease we saw in the tumor markers.... that's why man does not live on tumor marker blood tests alone. Apparently they were not a good indication of what was happening inside my body.

The cancer laughed at my chemo, Gemzar. It was a big, hearty bellow laugh, followed by deeply bellowing "is that all you got?"

The cancer grew pretty much everywhere in my body. Now, this is separate from the brain, as now we are looking at everywhere else so bear with me. I'm supposed to not worry about my brain until the end of May when we check in on that with an MRI and doctors appointments with my dueling specialists.

The radiologist reading my CT scan prefers the word "nodule" to "lesions" and it just depends on where they trained on what they call them. They are what they are-little nasty bitch cancer tumors that need to be schooled and fuck off and out of my body.

If you would like to see my ranting on what pussies the radiologists are on these reports, I'm sure you can find that in previous posts. I just wanted to say it again in case you are looking for more specific information (which I always am). I don't want you to think I just left it off of my blog. The information just isn't there in the readings, many times sounding non-committal and it's common knowledge that it is because they are afraid to be sued. Today I sang a rousing chorus of "Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be radiologists"... that just read scans all day... they suck... if they are gonna be a radiologist let them actually radiate people and not do BS transciptions... but I digress.

Here are a few excerpts from the scan readings. My medical friends out there have to forgive me if my interpretations are wrong. I'm going on part Google (oh, the horror-don't Google medical phrases as they relate to you as a general rule) and part what I think I remember from conversations with the doctors. We never go line by line with the doctors. They get an overview, give me the overview and we talk about the next step in treatment. It's just frustrating that all my medical decisions are based on these readings and for the most part the doctor reading it is just answering the bare minimum of the question-is there progression of disease? Instead of is there and how much? So here's what it looks like---

Radiologist vs (me):

There are new additional hepatic (liver) masses. (oh, now we're calling them masses) Almost complete left hepatic replacement. (left lobe of my liver is covered in cancer-that's been the same on the last few scans-nothing different here except that he says there are more "masses" but not how many more or give any indication of the growth vs. the last scan) Spleen, pancreas, adrenals negative. (hot dammit) Kidneys negative. (woohoo) Negative adenopathy (large or swollen lymph nodes indicating inflammation, infection or disease-wow then how the hell is my cancer traveling around to all the major hot spots in my body without enlarging my lymph notes? Just curious)

(He did get more specific regarding the mass on my sternum) I see soft tissue component anterior, and deep to the sternum. It is relatively a large mass. (holy shit! It's so big he made a comment on it) The anterior soft tissue component is as large as 5.7 cm.

Extensive new pulmonary (lungs) nodular (back to nodules) disease. Under a centimeter in size and seen in all segments of both lobes (that's both lungs-yeah, baby, I do things 100%).

Impression: Progression of disease. New extensive nodular metastatic disease to the lung. Extensive soft tissue neoplasm (group of cells that make a tumor) is seen associated with what is felt to be sternal metastasis.

Bone scan radiologist is better, naming specific vertebrae that are now lighting up the screen. She (wow, it's a woman that reads the scans better-go figure :)) mentions specific spots: T6, T9 and T10, T11 and T12. Progression of uptake in the midsternum with new uptake in the right sacral ala (wing on the triangle part of the sternum).

Impression: Compared to prior bone scan of 9/4/09 (yes, it's been that long since Moffit wasn't concerned with me having bones scans-yum) there is definite progression of skeletal metastases in sternum, thoracolumbar spine and sacrum with multiple (how many dammit!?) new lesions identified.

Ok, so I just wanted to give you a little peak of what the scan results are like. Admittedly, these are better than some of the earlier scans. Especially when the bone scan would say "possible disease or arthritis." Those were my favorite. I guess the cancer is showing up in so many places now that there's no question of what it is on the tests. One other bit of good news-heart scan was very good-my heart is perfect. :)

My best guess is that my brain was taking some thunder away from the rest of my body so that cancer wanted to make sure we gave it some attention. Spoiled little brat bitches.

The doctor is very matter of fact in these instances and just went on to describe the next course of chemotherapy. I started Carboplatin today which is a platinum based chemotherapy agent (platinum is what kicked Lance Armstrong's cancer so that's good). It is from a family of meds that we haven't tried yet and Dr. Shah is hoping it will throw the cancer cells off and we can knock the shit out of them. Go team go!

I am still on Tykerb and Herceptin for the Her2neu protein (that's just for the breast cancer folks out there) and Zometa for my bones.

Here's the interesting addition. Dr. Shah added Avastin to the mix to take care of my brain. Hmmm. I thought that causes brain bleeding. She said it only does that within 2 weeks of the brain radiation procedure and she checked with Dr. Ramakrishna and he was on board with me getting it. Wow, that was a suggestion of Dr. Bobustic--Stop the presses. Dr. Shah says she has to sit them down to get them to play nice and she has. So, they'll add Avastin in with the Carboplatin next week. If I experience any neurological symptoms such as dizziness, trouble walking and with balance, speech, etc. it could be a sign of brain bleeding and I should let them know immediately. Yeah, well, duh.

We had a long talk about Dr. Bobustic and Dr. Ramakrishna with Dr. Shah and she explained certain things that helped clear up some of our confusion, along with expressing a bit of her own. She is a very good referee. So, I'm not going to meet with the administration just yet, but at the end of May, when our attention turns once again to the brain, I will have something very specific to tell the administrator and I have a direct line to the administrator's office. I'm just putting it on hold for now and will pick it up again later. Definitely a hot button issue that I will not drop because being your own advocate is so important.

As a side note, and I know vanity is not important in the fight for your life, but there is a bit of a hair debate regarding the new chemo. The nurse practioner said I would not lose my hair. The doctor said I would. We like to ask them separately in the office to see the response. It's part of our sick little patient game and makes us giggle. I just won't be running out and buzzing it all off for now.

Bad test results are just a part of the cancer bullshit. This is what Dr. Shah told me from the beginning-that there would be ups and downs and it's just part of what I have to deal with. Just par for the course, I guess.

April and the last few months have been quite the shitstorm regarding my cancer treatment. However, April also marks my 3 year Cancerversary--that is, 3 years from diagnosis. I am so happy to be here. I am so blessed. I know that. But I'm not superwoman, people, I've been crying all day from these test results and trying to keep my thoughts from leading me to dark places. I am so very tired of being in treatment in 3 years-both figuratively and literally. Then I bounce back to feeling lucky that they have the doctors and the medicines to help me. I'm a walking freak show, bouncing from gratitude to fear to anger and back again. It's all part of the show and totally normal, but hey kids, don't try this at home.

Please keep praying because I know that it works. Pray that this new medicine kicks some serious nodule ass.

Love and muchos smoochos!!

Laura