Shitty Test Results

I had my CT and got the results this week. The results were not good. The cancer grew A LOT on my liver and sternum so I’ve left the clinical trail at Moffitt in Tampa. Dr. Minton in Tampa and Dr. Shah in Orlando have been working together and I start a new chemo called Gemzar on Wednesday. It will be an infusion every week but it is well tolerated with almost no side effects.

I need this to be a n ass kicking drug of the highest order. We need to push the cancer back. This last growth spurt was 50% bigger so that is not good. The mass on my liver grew from 9cmm to 14cm. Yes, it's still centimeters. Dammit!!!

I can’t seem to get my head on straight for the fight because I’ve been experiencing excrutiating pain through my hip and rear end. A couple weeks ago the general practitioner called it hip bursitis and it's gotten progressively worse. Yesterday Dr. Shah sent me for an xray to make sure it's not cancer (negative-bones are clear) and she gave me oxycodone (wowzah) because I haven’t been able to walk from the pain. I’ll take 3-4 steps and need to sit down. I’m trying to work on it with heat and epsom salts and hopefully the pain will start going away soon. Richard and Christy pushed me around both hospitals in a wheelchair like an old lady. Wheeee. I would really like that pain to go away please.

I don't usually have a pity party or ask people to feel sorry for me. But that is what it feels like in regards to this hip pain. The oxycodone puts me to sleep. Yesterday and last night I slept for 18 hours off and on and I hate it. I have stuff to do!

I guess it doesn't help that it's so cold outside. Would I be having this pain in the summer? Who knows? I've been blessed up until now to have had very little pain. Please, please, pain-go away and leave me alone!

I am also trying moist heat application, energy medicine, massage, and acupuncture to work the muscles back to normal. All of the tools in my toolbox. If I were a video game character, I'd be throwing fireballs, flamethrowers and Yugos at the enemy. Ok, obviously I'm not a video game expert, but Yugos must pack a punch, wouldn't you think?

The good news about this whole thing is that I had a nice break from chemo and we won't have to make that drive to Tampa anytime soon. Visiting Dr. Shah yesterday was like coming home and the nurses and staff were so happy to have me back. I feel very well taken care of.

Love to you all and please keep praying! I need it!

Laura