Here we go again. This is one of the pictures from the brain radiation I received two years ago. We have decided to do this procedure again with Dr. Ramakrishna, my new specialist.

Dr. Ramakrishna seems like a rockstar of brain radiation. MD Anderson recruited him from Dana Farber in Boston and he's published many articles and books on the subject of brain radiation. Everyone has heard of him. I think I'm in good hands.

I was in good hands two years ago, but I got the impression from Dr. Ramakrishna that he is not going to leave any necratic (dead) tissue behind in his procedure. Almost as if he thinks the folks who did my radiation the last time were amateurs. Awesome. He didn't say it, but it's just a feeling.

Two new tumors popping up will be zapped and gone soon. It's called stereotactic surgery and for those of you not around in Feb. 2008 when I had it before, it goes something like this. I arrive at the hospital at 6 AM. The nurse takes me back by myself and a neurologist comes in. He numbs my head in 4 spots then bolts the halo on. I am given morphine so the day, for me anyway, goes by very easily. They also will give me another medicine that helps you forget what's going on. How very spy novel of them.

Then I will be taken for a CT scan to help make sure where they are zapping me is precise. This scan, combined with my two previous brain MRI's will be what everyone goes off of for the procedure. Then I return to "the green room" with my family where I am then allowed to eat. We nosh and chat and watch TV while the physicists, neurologists, technicians, and Dr. Ramakrishna evaluate me and agree on the plan.

Then I am taken into a room with a large machine where they bolt the halo down so I will hold still for the procedure. Then those little fuckers get zapped. Then they are gone. I go home and sleep. For about two days, I will feel extremely tired, like I was run over by a truck. I will just rest and take it easy knowing those little fuckers are gone. Again.

Does it occur to me that these little fuckers popped up because I was 4 months off of chemo? Yes. Does it piss me off that I had a miserable experience with Moffitt and the trial didn't work and now I have to deal with this bullshit? Yes. But Christy reminds me that I needed the break from chemo. Oh yes I did. Perhaps the next trial I do will not be a phase 1 trial. Perhaps will see some more data that something is working and then go for it. Only time will tell.

The procedure will take place in the next couple of weeks. I have to get another MRI which will be small views of the brain to make sure they aren't missing anything. Dr. Ramakrishna puts the MRI images together in a thing called 3D fusion to make sure of everything. It sounds really cool.

So, I'm going in again with better hair and knowing what to expect. Let's get those fuckers.