The last 4 or 5 scans have been amazing! The cancer is shrinking and I am a walking miracle. They moved my schedule to chemo every 3 weeks instead of every 2 weeks which has been super awesome fantastic. I can't even tell you how great having an extra week of energy has been and how lucky I feel.
Which brings me to today.
I had a CT scan last Monday. I'm supposed to meet with Dr. Shah on Tuesday, June 16th for the results. Regularly scheduled chemo is June 17th but my doctor and I have been entertaining the thought that if this CT scan is the same good news, perhaps we could do chemo every 4 weeks. I've been praying and hoping and clinging to this! I was sure this was going to happen, people. I felt it in my soul that it was going to happen. But alas, it's not happenin'.
My boss approached me about doing a pretty big project next week and I wasn't sure I could commit with the upcoming doctor's visit and potential chemo day. So, I called yesterday to try to get my CT scans early, expecting it to be the same news it's been for months. I asked if I could skip the appointment (they are usually quick anyway) and get the news over the phone. Still sure the news was good.
Jeanie, a nurse I have never spoken to that was covering for my regular nurse, called me to say that Dr. Shah would like me to keep my doctor's appointment on Tuesday because ... and I quote ... "the lungs look better but the liver looks worse." But then Jeanie could not tell me anything else and told me that I had to talk to Dr. Shah on Tuesday. I quietly got off the phone and cried.
Then I called back and left a message asking if I could go in today for the results rather than wait until Tuesday. Then the amazing and wonderful Natalia called me back. She is Dr. Shah's medical assistant that I've known for quite some time. She had overheard Jeanie calling me and knew she was the one that needed to call me back.
Natalia said that Dr. Shah is out of town both days and that I have to wait until Tuesday to see her. She said that yes, that was how the scan went, but not to worry because Dr. Shah would have a plan. She called it a minor setback and encouraged me to try to have a little fun this weekend to keep my mind off of it for now.
So that's what I'm doing. I'm working and I have to work this Sunday. I'm battling to push the dark thoughts and fears out and sometimes that goes moment by moment. It doesn't help that we lost 2 women in my Mets support group this past week. Crappy timing for a bad scan.
But hey-I'm not in charge and never have been. I'm a walking miracle and God is still here.
And I went to a "bring your gold" party last night and made $84 off a necklace that I never wore because it pinched my skin. So that's good.
Smooches!
Laura
Which brings me to today.
I had a CT scan last Monday. I'm supposed to meet with Dr. Shah on Tuesday, June 16th for the results. Regularly scheduled chemo is June 17th but my doctor and I have been entertaining the thought that if this CT scan is the same good news, perhaps we could do chemo every 4 weeks. I've been praying and hoping and clinging to this! I was sure this was going to happen, people. I felt it in my soul that it was going to happen. But alas, it's not happenin'.
My boss approached me about doing a pretty big project next week and I wasn't sure I could commit with the upcoming doctor's visit and potential chemo day. So, I called yesterday to try to get my CT scans early, expecting it to be the same news it's been for months. I asked if I could skip the appointment (they are usually quick anyway) and get the news over the phone. Still sure the news was good.
Jeanie, a nurse I have never spoken to that was covering for my regular nurse, called me to say that Dr. Shah would like me to keep my doctor's appointment on Tuesday because ... and I quote ... "the lungs look better but the liver looks worse." But then Jeanie could not tell me anything else and told me that I had to talk to Dr. Shah on Tuesday. I quietly got off the phone and cried.
Then I called back and left a message asking if I could go in today for the results rather than wait until Tuesday. Then the amazing and wonderful Natalia called me back. She is Dr. Shah's medical assistant that I've known for quite some time. She had overheard Jeanie calling me and knew she was the one that needed to call me back.
Natalia said that Dr. Shah is out of town both days and that I have to wait until Tuesday to see her. She said that yes, that was how the scan went, but not to worry because Dr. Shah would have a plan. She called it a minor setback and encouraged me to try to have a little fun this weekend to keep my mind off of it for now.
So that's what I'm doing. I'm working and I have to work this Sunday. I'm battling to push the dark thoughts and fears out and sometimes that goes moment by moment. It doesn't help that we lost 2 women in my Mets support group this past week. Crappy timing for a bad scan.
But hey-I'm not in charge and never have been. I'm a walking miracle and God is still here.
And I went to a "bring your gold" party last night and made $84 off a necklace that I never wore because it pinched my skin. So that's good.
Smooches!
Laura
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