Holey piece of shit, Batman!

Holey has taken over the spotlight in my cancer fight for now. About a week ago, the nurses of wound care suctioned it out with a vaccuum. Yummy yum yum. Holey has been very angry since. They say it is healing well and that I am doing well, but my chest feels like someone is stabbing me. Yes, I have pain meds. No, I don't like to take them. I am already on so many meds and Advil does seem to take the edge off a bit, so it's fine. For now.

The nurses say I will do the suction thing several more times. They are trying to move the inside of the hole from a yellow, pussey place to a bloody, beefy place (direct quote from the nurse). It needs to be more vascular and guess what that means kids. Vascular = painful! But hey, that's all part of the healing process. We bloody the shit up and then it can scab over and heal. It cannot happen fast enough for me. That fucking lumpy has taunted me for several months now and now he taunts me from the great beyond. Piece of shit lump. Bullshit.

That's right, the bullshit train is still running on the tracks with no scheduled stops. I frequently think about how I can get off this ride and still be alive and well. Can I ask the doctor to take a few months off of chemo to try to get my body back? I need strength and I actually miss the girth I had which made this fight easier. Maybe I should go on tour talking to girls about their weight. Don't worry, ladies, you may get a form of advanced cancer and then you'll wish you had that fat ass, believe me. Well, I'm not sure many people would show up for that tour, even if I'd be sure to serve all the doughnuts and pie you could eat. Mmmmm....

I had a PT scan but it was considered a baseline PT scan since the last one I had was in 2007. I've gotten CT scans this whole time and why the doctor now wants to switch to PT scans, I just don't know. So, we can't really check in on how the cancer is going away until the next scan in 3 months or so. Hey, don't ask me. I just show up where they tell me at this point.

I'm trying to stay warm with the Florida cold snaps. Brrrr... you people with your snow think you have problems. Try 65 degrees! It sucks! Hahahahahahahaha!!! I am so glad I live in Florida. I imagine trying to go to treatment with all that snow and crap--no thank you!

I'm resting a lot now that I've taken the break from work. I have no idea how I was working and doing treatment. Resting really has become my full-time job. Transitioning back to work will be interesting after the break, but I'm not thinking about that. Now I'm just worried about how much I'm eating and when to take my next nap. Ahhhhhhhhh......

Love to you all!