Holey Holey Holey!!!

I've been feeling much better and although I don't eat much at meals, I have been eating better and keeping food down. I saw the doctor two days ago and she said I looked stronger than she has seen me in a long time. So things are moving right along.

I am grateful for all that radiation to be finished and now I am back to a somewhat "normal" chemo routine of chemo every other Wednesday. I really enjoy the weeks off from going to the hospital, let me tell you.

Being off of work is very strange. I miss the people in the office terribly but my body feels completely stress free with not thinking of what needs to be done in the office. I can take several naps a day if I want and I have been doing so happily. It feels like that part in Forrest Gump when Jenny comes home and sleeps and sleeps for days. I didn't realize how much sleep and rest I wasn't getting before now. Yoda dog is over the moon because I'm home all the time and naps around with me. He looks so betrayed if I leave to go anywhere, like his face is saying, "hey, I thought we were in this together. Where do you think you're going?" I know I made the right decision to take a break from work. Sometimes I'm bored, but I have plenty to do around the house. Heck, I haven't even taken down the Christmas tree yet. :-) It's like I'm waiting to make sure I will have something to do or some weird thing like that.

Two more ladies passed away from our stage IV support group and one more is having all kinds of scary problems with her liver right now. There are 3 of us left from the original group-her, me and Marcia. We're freaked out but we call each other and support each other as much as we can. It is totally bizarre in a way I really can't explain. You don't want to waste your somewhat "healthy" days on worrying if the things that are happening to them are going to happen to you. Every day is God's gift and it's important not to squander them or feel guilty because those horrible things aren't happening to you. There is a reason for everything and I feel so blessed to be doing better and to have known these women. I'm so grateful that they came into my life at all. Cancer did that.

So, I wish that were all I had to report. Today I checked in at the wound care clinic. They have been monitoring lumpy on my chest for a few months now. I have watched lumpy miraculously dissolve and go completely flat. But there has been a nickel size pus scab in the center of where lumpy was located for weeks which we've been keeping covered and putting medicine on. Well, today, the nurses took the pus scab off the top. Then they squeezed the circle and oozed all the pus out of the circle. They were very excited and encouraged that all the pus and crapola came out of the circle. Guess what remains in the circle? Nothing!!! It is a big gaping hole in my chest!

No, I'm not exaggerating people, which I know I tend to do. There is a hole in my chest that you could stick your thumb down into. It reminds me of the anti-smoking commercial that aired years ago of the old woman smoking a cigarette out of the perfect hole in her chest. I was completely freaked out when they showed me and started to cry. These nurses have gotten to know me very well over our time together and they just hugged me and said it wasn't so bad and that it was a really good sign. Then they gave me stuff to pack the wound so the inside could heal without the hole closing up. I was alone today and I'm supposed to show Richard how to do it without vomiting. So we'll see how that goes. I just have to remind myself it's a superficial wound and no organs are going to pop out and ooze out of the hole. Yum.

So that's my bizarro update for now. Love to you who still read these posts.

Muchos Smoochos!