So I've been getting nosebleeds since I've been on Avastin which has been several months now, maybe even a year or so. This really sucks. I actually have a nosebleed right now all crammed with tissue while I type this. Avastin was in the news as the company that makes it has not proven overall survival rate in metastatic breast cancer survivors so the FDA will be removing its approval. If this happens, hospitals won't administer the drug and insurance companies won't pay for it. This is disturbing because my doctors and I believe it is part of the treatment keeping tumors out of my brain. They have been going ahead and giving it to me for now, until someone tells them differently.
Nosebleeds all day long really suck. So then I wonder why in the hell am I on this shit if it's not helping and I want to get off.
Avastin also delays wound healing so we actually just skipped a dose while the holey heals. The holey will probably take several months to heal so I think we should take a break from Avastin for awhile. The doctor's office wants me to call every time I'm about to have chemo to discuss. What a drag. I'll do it though.
Avastin also causes blood in the urine. I had a large amount of blood in my urine sample a few weeks ago and the doctors have run two urine cultures since and both came back negative so the doctor's office told me not to worry, it's just a side effect of Avastin. But this weekend, it got worse. Every time I peed the toilet was dark, deep red. I am totally freaked out. I don't have any pain though, so it's confusing. I'm feeling more run down then usual, so it could be some sort of infection, who knows. They took another sample today, are growing another culture and referred me to a urologist. Lucky urologist only works on Fridays so I have to wait until Friday all freaked out. Or beyond that for whatever tests they want to do and wait all freaked out for that.
And now there is random shit popping up. My chest hurts so much from the holey that I can feel the pain shooting up my nerves into my neck. And my neck and shoulders are hurting again but I'm not going back to that horrible physical therapist. And my lower back hurts. And today I was doubled over in pain from constipation, but don't worry, that only lasts for about a day then all the poop pushes itself out in very painful and bloody bowel movements. Fun, huh? This is my pattern, get diarrhea, take pills and be constipated for a few days until my insides feel like they are literally bursting out through pile of razor blades in my ass.
Also, now my front tooth is discolored. All of sudden. Brown tooth! From the meds. Doctors don't care, it's just part of the "cancer journey." Well, fuck it all, I am so sick of this bullshit.
I'm just telling it like it really is so you'll know the real answer to "how are you feeling?" It's just too gross to tell you the truth in person. This is truly how I'm doing. Navigating these bullshit side effects and pain every day. But I will not let cancer win or get the best of me. I'm fighting this at every turn with energy medicine healing sessions and good times with family and friends in between the crap. There is no way it can win! Thank you for the support that helps me believe that every day!
No comments:
Post a Comment