One Day At A Time

Still in a daze and a fog over my dad's death. It was so unexpected and I just can't believe I can't talk to him on the phone any time I want.

Here are the memorial pictures which dad/Tom's friend Larry put together. He has helped our family so much and these pictures show my dad over the years. Very cool.
http://www.z-pictures.com/rhodesmemorial/

Dad always wanted to be buried at Arlingtion National Cemetary so that's where the funeral will be. It will be held on November 30th so the whole family is going up. I'm hopeful that this will bring us closer together in ways we can't even imagine yet. I just can't wait to throw my arms around everyone and be together.

Still on the clinical trial and this 2nd cycle proves to be less days in Tampa, so that is good. The date of the funeral landed during a time when I don't need to be at Moffitt, so everything worked out there. I will be back on Nov. 24th but then it's taking pills from home after that.

The stress from not sleeping, along with some general vomitting from the meds, made me pull a muscle in my back along the edge of my rib cage. Last Friday, I had excrutiating shooting pains there and Kristen had to drive me to the doctor. Kristen was an amazing friend and talked me through the pain like a trained professional. It felt as if someone was driving an icepick into my back and turning it over and over, relentlessly. They gave me a pain shot in my bum... the same shot they give people passing kidney stones. Ouch! They took an xray and saw no other problems, so pulled muscle it is! Let's stay away from anything that might be the cancer going crazy, right? Every pain and stress is scary, let me tell ya. I'm taking a muscle relaxer and a pain reliever for a week and I was ordered not to do any housework for 2 weeks. Ha-broke that the first day. I'm not proud.

When this happened, I had to call the clinical trial folks to let them know and ask what I should do. I ended up going to my primary care doctor when I couldn't get anyone on the phone right away. I was in so much pain! So, I talked with the manager of the clinical trial unit and now I have all the numbers I need in case something comes up again. Wow, it's a marvelous thing to actually be given phone numbers you might have to use while undergoing cancer treatment.

I also found out that my CT scan will be at the end of December for sure. Something about my insurance not paying for one sooner, which is fine by me. I hate that fuckin' test. I get the metallic taste, the full body hot flash and the peed in your pants feeling all at once. Those are 3 things that could possibly happen and I get all three. Lucky me.

Praying and hoping that the CT will reveal that this clinical trial drug is magical and the cancer is gone. I cannot describe to you how awesome it is to not be on chemo. Wow. Please please please God help the medicine kick those fuckers out of my body for good. I'm pretty sure I have a charming and persuasive angel up there on my side pulling some strings. Thanks dad. I love you.