One Day At A Time

Still in a daze and a fog over my dad's death. It was so unexpected and I just can't believe I can't talk to him on the phone any time I want.

Here are the memorial pictures which dad/Tom's friend Larry put together. He has helped our family so much and these pictures show my dad over the years. Very cool.
http://www.z-pictures.com/rhodesmemorial/

Dad always wanted to be buried at Arlingtion National Cemetary so that's where the funeral will be. It will be held on November 30th so the whole family is going up. I'm hopeful that this will bring us closer together in ways we can't even imagine yet. I just can't wait to throw my arms around everyone and be together.

Still on the clinical trial and this 2nd cycle proves to be less days in Tampa, so that is good. The date of the funeral landed during a time when I don't need to be at Moffitt, so everything worked out there. I will be back on Nov. 24th but then it's taking pills from home after that.

The stress from not sleeping, along with some general vomitting from the meds, made me pull a muscle in my back along the edge of my rib cage. Last Friday, I had excrutiating shooting pains there and Kristen had to drive me to the doctor. Kristen was an amazing friend and talked me through the pain like a trained professional. It felt as if someone was driving an icepick into my back and turning it over and over, relentlessly. They gave me a pain shot in my bum... the same shot they give people passing kidney stones. Ouch! They took an xray and saw no other problems, so pulled muscle it is! Let's stay away from anything that might be the cancer going crazy, right? Every pain and stress is scary, let me tell ya. I'm taking a muscle relaxer and a pain reliever for a week and I was ordered not to do any housework for 2 weeks. Ha-broke that the first day. I'm not proud.

When this happened, I had to call the clinical trial folks to let them know and ask what I should do. I ended up going to my primary care doctor when I couldn't get anyone on the phone right away. I was in so much pain! So, I talked with the manager of the clinical trial unit and now I have all the numbers I need in case something comes up again. Wow, it's a marvelous thing to actually be given phone numbers you might have to use while undergoing cancer treatment.

I also found out that my CT scan will be at the end of December for sure. Something about my insurance not paying for one sooner, which is fine by me. I hate that fuckin' test. I get the metallic taste, the full body hot flash and the peed in your pants feeling all at once. Those are 3 things that could possibly happen and I get all three. Lucky me.

Praying and hoping that the CT will reveal that this clinical trial drug is magical and the cancer is gone. I cannot describe to you how awesome it is to not be on chemo. Wow. Please please please God help the medicine kick those fuckers out of my body for good. I'm pretty sure I have a charming and persuasive angel up there on my side pulling some strings. Thanks dad. I love you.

My Dad is gone

Dad passed away yesterday. I got the call after posting the last update. No words. Only sadness and a heavy heart.

My dad-fight fight fight!

Ok, I know I've been quiet on the blog. Quite frankly, I wasn't sure what to say. My father has been on life support machines in California since last Monday. There, I said it.

He was having a hard time breathing over that weekend and went to the Long Beach VA hospital Monday morning. He has one of the worst cases of pneumonia they've ever seen. And I'm pretty sure those docs have seen some shit.

They had to give him sedation so he wouldn't fight the tubes and he's been unconscious ever since.

So, we've been praying and hoping that he would come out of this and I gotta tell ya, that man is a strong son of a gun.

Tuesday night his heart stopped for about 2 minutes. They had to pound his chest or do things very movie like to get it going again. But it did.

Wednesday night was the hardest. The doctors only gave him a 25% chance of making it. Then the doctors called his wife, Julie, later in the night and told her to come back to the hospital. He would not make it through the night.

But he did it make it through the night. And the next night. And the next night. Here we are one week and a day after he was admitted and he is hanging in there. Damn. Awesome.

His lungs have failed. His kidneys have failed. He has had 4 days straight of dialysis. Perhaps today will be the 5th? I don't know much about dialysis, but I hear it has something to do with getting the toxins out of your system. Well, dad's led quite a hard life and had a lot of fun so keep doing that dialysis people! There are lots more toxins to go, I'm sure.

Blood pressure has been absolutely normal for a few days-a miracle after they had to restart his heart. There are miracles around us every day.

My dad was doing rehab from a pretty bad car accident six months ago, so I'm sure his defenses and abilities are down. We were comparing notes about both of us fighting our way to health.

Fight fight fight, daddy! You can do it! What a bad ass story when you are on the other side of this!

My oldest brother, Dave, is there this week, so that is great. Julie needs sleep and rest, obviously upset, but whenever I call her she says, "Don't worry, Laura, I'm taking care of your dad." and I know that she is in ways better than any of us could. We are all praying and hoping that there is a happy ending to this story.

For me, I've been dreading every single phone call. Every time my phone rings, I get an enormous knot in my stomach. But this is not about me. He makes a little bit of progress every day.

Keep praying an hoping everyone. Pray for us both please, as we pray for you. It is definitely working!