True courage comes from dealing with what comes at you, not from what you seek. I'm proud of myself for overcoming a personal fear and taking on the challenge of getting to the top of Half Dome, but I drew strength and learned a thing or two about overcoming from a high school friend of mine, Laura Rhodes Goldstein. At 33, engaged to be married, she was diagnosed, out of the blue and with no family history, with stage IV breast cancer. Reading her blog, http://cancercopia.blogspot.com, I've come to deeply respect Laura and her courage to look the disease head on and to not let it stop her for a moment from living a life full of love and laughter.

Laura, I wanted to bring you to the top with me, this time in spirit, to thank you for your strength and your example. You are my definition of Super Woman.Vincit qui patitur - She who endures, conquers. Keep on fighting, friend, put this chapter of your life to rest and come hike this damn mountain with me! XXOO

Friends of Cancercopia: The above post was on Facebook from my high school friend, Laura Brandon Schulz. I am still overwhelmed that she contacted my husband (who never said a word) for a picture of me, then she prepared this inspirational sign. Then she packed all of her hiking stuff for a hike she's been planning for over a year or something like that. Then she gently tucked me in next to the gel packs and granola, I imagine. All that work to take this AWESOME picture.

Laura, I cannot ever express how much this gesture means to me. I am fighting like hell out there and trying to make sense of why this happens is useless. And then sometimes someone does or says something that makes it crystal clear about why this happened to me and all of the good that can come out of something so bad. It is my honor to have any contribution to your strength and courage and I am humbled anytime what I do affects anyone else. Thank you for reminding me that people are paying attention and rooting for me. I fight like hell for me and I fight like hell for you. I fight like hell for all of us. Cancer is messing with the wrong bitch.

You have a normal brain!!!

Hooray! I have a normal brain once again! Insert joke here!


Quick recap: As if having metastatic breast cancer wasn't scary enough, back in February 2008, the cancer moved into my brain by way of 2 brain tumors. Luckily for me, they weren't located in a place that would affect any of my normal functions, and we were able to zap those little buggers with precisely aimed radiation lasers. I had outpatient brain radiation. Awesome!

Follow-up brain mri's showed that the radiation was a success, but those 2 tumors kept showing up on the scans. We moved the mri schedule to every 2 months. With my ct, muga & bone scans still every 3 months, I can definitely glow in the dark now.

The brain specialist wanted to watch the spots on my brain closely although his feelings were that they were probably necratic (sp?) tissue, meaning dead brain tissue from the radiation. But in the last several scans, there they were-not moving or growing but still there.

As an added bonus to hearing the terrifying news that I had brain tumors, the doctor also explained that I was now in a category of people who are at risk for seizures. Are you freakin' kidding me? So I was put on meds for that. One more pill to take twice a day. Bleh.

HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS: Last Tuesday, I had a follow-up brain scan. The tumors weren't on the scan at all! They were totally gone!! The doctor said that if he didn't know my history, he would think he was looking at a normal brain. Hahahaha-I'm not normal anything. :-)

I can now stop taking the seizure meds. Yay! I don't have to come in for another mri until 4 months. Hooray!

The current chemo combo I'm on apparently crosses the brain/blood barrier and is doing its job. At any time the meds could stop and these tumors can come back. But for now, I'm celebrating my normal brain! Thank you everyone out there praying and following what's going on with me. It's working and please don't stop. I love you!

Laura